Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
