not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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