So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
