Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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