I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
