I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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