So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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