My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
