i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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