Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
