just come out here and I will go home with you...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
