My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hippo gnu deer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
