Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
