she was so not down for the gang bang
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
