GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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