Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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