just come out here and I will go home with you...
if only i could text you this smell
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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