you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
