He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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