just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
