My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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