That's intense
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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