Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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