Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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