I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
