kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i will never coherently bang her
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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