she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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