You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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