Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
