Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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