the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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