Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
