you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
