He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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