I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
