Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
