The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
