i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
