It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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