Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
