Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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