am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
