I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
