I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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