Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
