if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
