Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
