I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
