just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize