her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
