OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
