Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize