Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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