And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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