i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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