she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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