Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
