checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
