New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
