roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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