when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
