this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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