What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize