I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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