she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
